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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on the local café on Schiller Straße. Best cappuccino ever, but the owner’s a pain sometimes, always naggin' about customers mispronouncing his name. Seriously, sometimes, I just wanna say, “Fish Tank!” and declare, “I could be somebody” while shootin’ off in a rant that we’re all perfectly imperfect here.

Porsche Taycan and Volvo Polestar 2 prototypes spotted up close